Are we really free to love? Many times, because we are frightened by previous experiences, we are not totally in the present moment and we are not able to enjoy all the love that our beloved or the existence itself is giving us.
In this article, Radha replies to a participant and talks about how to get rid of the movies of the past and interact in a conscious way.
Participant: When somebody that I really like, not only my boyfriend, says to me negative things, or sometimes ignores me, I feel strongly damaged by that. Sometimes I can be strong and I say fuck off. But sometimes I feel really damaged like a small child. I don’t know what can I do?
Radha: Nothing! Nothing to do. I mean: this is obviously a movie of the past because in the present moment you have no reason to feel really… you used the word “damaged”, hurt. The only thing that you can do is to recognize what you have just said. This is a button that gets pushed by past movies. And the all process of being aware has a lot to do with this. In the past, you may not even recognize this. You thought: “This guy is an idiot”; or “Poor me, nobody likes me”. But the reality is that today, after many things you did, you recognize that this is a movie from the past, this is already very important. If we could be that much aware in the present moment in our relationships we would have wonderful relationships because we would both say: “Oh! You just push my button. I need a little time for me.” And then you go back to be alone and then all the love is flowing again and you realize that it has nothing to do with that person and also nothing to do with you. So all you need is awareness and the practicing of awareness has nothing to do with introspection. Introspection is like: my father was like this, my mother was like that, I suffered as a child… This is good, but awareness means: “Ah-ah! Now I feel it. I’m feeling it. Uhh! I breathe into it. I meditate with it. And I don’t escape from it but it’s not me. That’s what you can do in not doing”.